Hey there mom. You’ve done one of the most amazing things and now you’re here, a new mom, trying to figure out when one day ended and the other began. Or you’re a new mom but no one would be able to tell by the way you’ve been breezing through your role. Either way, this is a talk we need to have because, speaking from experience, it is quite easy to forget that the most important person in this equation may not be the baby, but you. It can be difficult to put yourself first in those early days and weeks, but it is important for both you and your baby that you do so. This complete guide to self-care for new moms is exactly what you need to read.
Be kind to your mind & body. You’re sexy and you should own it!
The physical changes that come from giving birth are significant. Your body will not be the same as it was before you had your baby, so it’s important to adjust accordingly. You might notice that your breasts feel different or that you don’t have much of an appetite. These things happen to every new mom, and they can take time to get used to. You may even need help adjusting at first by using nursing bras or other support garments until the swelling goes down and the milk comes in—but once this happens, think of all the fun accessories you can buy.
Then there’s the age-old notion of “snapping back” like the elastic band you’re expected to be. It’s all great and dandy if that happens for you but it’s also great and dandy if it doesn’t. Your body has done something that is incomprehensible, and you shouldn’t be made to feel bad for what it did to bring your bundle of joy into the world. You should be proud and wear it like a badge of honor because that’s exactly what it is. Besides, the future is ahead mama, why are you looking back that way?
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At the same time, there are some things you can do that may help to improve your physique while you take back control of your life like exercising, eating balanced meals and drinking lots of water. Now, I’m not saying that doing these things will guarantee the body you once had but what I do know is that you’ll end up feeling a whole lot better. Exercising and eating right not only gets you in shape but it keeps you healthy and improves your mental health significantly.
T Shirt!
Take a day off!
- You’ll be tired and need to rest, but you won’t have time to do it. During the first few months of motherhood, your days will be filled with interrupted sleep.
- You’ll have an infant who needs feeding throughout the night and often during the day. The simple act of getting out of bed can feel like a major achievement at this point.
- You’ll be surrounded by people who’ll seem to always have questions for you. “How’s the baby?” “Is she eating enough?” “Where did my car keys go?”
This is when you pull out a designated day, yes, a whole day, where you shut off all the big wheels that turn and slow down your day. I call it “M.D.O” or “Mom’s Day Off”. You won’t always have someone to take the baby so you can get a full day of rest, but this is the day to do the barest of minimums; only what is necessary to survive. Everything that needs to be done today will be there tomorrow, might as well get some well needed rest to recharge and get back on track clear headed and in a much better place.
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Trust yourself.
You know that saying, “There’s no such thing as the perfect day”? It’s true. You can’t predict every little thing that will happen, or how you’ll feel about it. So don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go perfectly—you might have a rough day and then be feeling great the next day!
Your baby will grow and change in ways you didn’t expect (That time she started rolling over? Or crawling? Or talking?). They’ll get sick sometimes too, which means you might have to reschedule your days until they’re better. And if there isn’t anything physically wrong with them, they’ll still keep peeing on everything and losing their favorite blanket at least once every week.
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You may also get sick during this time—and if your partner does too, it can make for some very sleepless nights. Beyond the normal exhaustion from having a new baby around all the time, there’s also an extra layer of pressure to take care of everyone else too! It can get overwhelming, but remember, you may not always feel like everything’s going to be ok but trust yourself to be strong enough to handle whatever may come along.
Trust your capabilities.
for you!
You’ll be offered plenty of advice. Some of it will be helpful, some of it not so much. You don’t have to listen to any advice you don’t want to—you know your baby better than anyone else! But if someone has a good suggestion that seems relevant and useful, go ahead and try it out and take everything “with a grain of salt”.
There is no hard and fast way of parenting. No two situations are always exactly the same and not all experiences are equal. What works for one person may not always work for you. Your baby will let you know in no time if something is making life more difficult or less enjoyable for him/her (and for you). Remember, mother knows best and you, mom, will know what’s best.
Ask for help!
Let’s be honest—you can’t do it all. If you tried to, you’d end up burning out and losing your mind in the process. You’re not alone. You need help! That doesn’t mean you’re weak or less capable than the next person; it just means that at some point, we all have to ask for assistance with something.
It’s hard for me to admit, but I wasn’t always the best at caring for myself after having my twins. I was so focused on being a good mom and not only doing everything right but doing everything myself. I didn’t realize I was neglecting myself until it was almost too late but, thankfully, I had a good support system that was able to help me see what was happening and make some changes.
Give Yourself Grace.
You’ll get better. Almost everything will get easier over time, and the things that don’t will just be another thing you have to deal with.
Your baby may not sleep through the night right away, but eventually he or she will. You’ll learn how to breastfeed, and your baby will grow up learning how to use a fork and spoon instead of snatching food off your plate. You won’t know how much formula you’ll need for each feeding until you start making it, but once you start making it and figuring out what works (and doesn’t), things level out after a while.
You won’t feel like going out with friends or doing anything fun at all during this adjustment period, but eventually it gets better—you learn when your energy is high enough that leaving the house isn’t as taxing on everyone else in your life as well as yourself (or maybe even just yourself).
Conclusion
You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you want to kick ass at this mom stuff, you have to make sure that you’re doing ok first. Prioritize your health. Make sure you get enough sleep (ideally 8 hours), exercise regularly (even if it’s just taking a walk around the block), eat nutritious foods and not processed junk (all the time), take vitamins/supplements if necessary, and drink lots of water. Just remember everything else will fall into place more easily once you’ve taken care of yourself first!
